I’ve made a change, and it’s kind of a huge one.
I’m all about always changing and always improving on yourself, and that has manifested itself in trying just about every diet out there. I talked about my dieting and somewhat disordered eating patterns in a past blog post, and I talked about how I have found keto and how happy it has made me.
Well guess what, fam? I’m not happy anymore.
Keto works. It really does. I lost 20 pounds… a year ago. Since
then, I have pretty much maintained which is awesome! Except it isn’t because I
developed some pretty serious food obsessions and restrictions in the last year.
I also started to obsess over the weight loss that I wasn’t achieving and that
put me in a very bad headspace a lot of the time.
I have always struggled with food and putting myself on such a strict diet where I cut out an entire food group did good things to my body, but bad things to my brain.
I want to stress that keto did help me achieve some weight
loss, but as I started to fixate on the restriction, I would start binging more
often and I ended up yo-yoing a lot with my weight. I would lose 5 pounds, then
gain it back after a weekend of binging, then lose it again, rinse and repeat.
I realized a couple weeks ago that not only was this not healthy for my body, it was especially unhealthy for my mental health because I was in an endless cycle of restrict, binge, self loath. So I decided, once again, it is time for a change.
When I was fresh out of high school I tried a “diet” where I
wouldn’t actually follow any strict diet rules, other than eating healthy, real
food. I ate mostly clean and tried to work out as much as my body allowed. I ended
up losing a lot of weight but that wasn’t the thing that I cared about most. I
felt healthy, and I didn’t feel deprived. One of the things I struggle with
most is feeling like I’m missing out, and feeling like as soon as the weekend
hits I can “cheat” and have some ice cream or pizza.
So I decided that I will give it a try again. I’m eating mostly healthy, whole, and real foods and allowing myself some wiggle room to have some ice cream if I really want it. The thing I’m happiest about is being able to have fruit, potatoes, and bread again. Keto is great, but I find if you put too many restrictions onto yourself it can backfire, especially if you have had disordered eating in the past.
I will be spending my days eating what makes me smile, and
taking care of myself.
I hope you will take care of yourself too.