Have you been feeling a bit shitty lately? Maybe you’re taking a bit longer to roll out of bed in the morning. Maybe you’re up throughout the night stressing out about tomorrow’s problems. Maybe you find yourself taking longer showers, having lapses in your day, feeling dissociated, or crying more.
Maybe you’re not okay.
I feel you. You’re probably telling yourself you need to get
your shit together. You need to snap out of it. You need to get back to your
old self. But here’s something to think about, maybe you don’t.
Okay, you do. You can’t live your life feeling as low as you do. It’s not healthy. But you know what else isn’t healthy? Not letting yourself feel your emotions and telling yourself you can’t feel sad.
I am so bad at this. Every time depression hits, I immediately think “Okay, get your shit together Jessica.” I start doing things to keep my mind off my sadness, I distract myself. I don’t let myself feel.
I have a challenge for you. Next time you are feeling blue, let yourself feel blue. Breathe in the sadness. Feel it. Cry. Scream if you have to. Let the sadness shake you to your core. Lay in bed for an hour if you feel like you have to. Then do something self-reflective, like journaling.
Write everything you are feeling down, don’t sugar coat things, don’t make things seem like they’re not that bad. Even if something “stupid” triggered your break down, include that too. After you write it down and feel everything, wash your face, do something that makes you feel good, and relax.
No forcing yourself to get your shit together. No “moving on” right away. No pushing away the emotions. Be kind to yourself. Cancel those plans. Cry as much as you need to. Stop writing to-do lists. Stop feeling like you don’t have time to be sad. Being sad is a part of being human. Not being okay is okay.
I guess I just wanted to make a post like this because all of my other posts are about self care and self improvement. Some days you don’t want to improve yourself. It takes a lot of mental energy to always be moving forward, to always make yourself better. Sometimes it’s easier to just be.
So just be today.
And as always,
Take care of yourself.