My last blog post was about two months ago. I was posting about going back up to part time at my current job. I thought I was ready. I thought I could do it, it’s only forty hours, right? Well I recently started school full time as well and it has just been a lot.
I am now in a situation where I want to quit. I want to quit to focus on school, I want to quit because financial assistance is giving me living expenses anyway, and most importantly, I want to quit because it is ruining me.
This job is ruining me. It has ruined me.
The last three years has been a rollercoaster of stress. It has turned me into a person I thought I would never be. It has turned me into a bitter person, who I never wanted to be.
But it’s all I know. I feel stuck, I feel broken down, I feel empty inside. I feel like every day that I have to go into work is the end of the world. The anxiety I feel about going into that place is incomparable to anything I’ve ever dealt with. I would love to wash my hands of that place.
My boyfriend is worried about money, but I’m worried about my mental health. I’m usually pretty firm with my decisions but this one doesn’t just affect me.
There is nothing worse than feeling so stuck in a situation that is hurting you so badly.