So, I’m not going to do this every week, but I decided today’s blog post would be kind of like a diary entry from my second week without alcohol. What was easy? What was hard? I’m going to tell you.
My family is full of alcoholics. Plain and simple. I went to
my mom’s place so my sister could do my hair and she offered me a drink, which I
knew would happen. I told her I wasn’t drinking right now, and she looked
shocked but respected my choice and coloured my hair while I sipped on a diet
sprite. My cousin who was there got wide eyed when I told him I was sober right
now. My mom, being ever supportive told me she was proud. But everyone was kind
of weirded out.
At work I told my boss I wasn’t drinking as I chomped down on a pickle. She immediately asked if I was pregnant, which spoiler alert, I am not. What do I gather from these two situations? People don’t know who I am without alcohol.
Ever since I can remember I’ve been drinking on weekends. Seriously, since I was like 14. I remember in high school a girl who I was acquaintances with turned around in her chair and asked “what did you do this weekend? Go to any parties? Did you get drunk?” I told her I stayed in with my best friend and watched movies and she was confused.
I don’t want this to be my identity anymore. It’s been almost 10 years.
I want to be the person that can go to a restaurant and get a glass of wine then go home and relax without having to get absolutely hammered.
I’m starting to think this no drinking thing might have to go longer than just March. I finally feel good. I’m getting more done, I haven’t had a hangover in almost three weeks, I feel happier, my moods feel more stable, and I’m sleeping better.
Booze was never good for me, but I tricked myself that it was. I was more social when I was drunk, I laughed more, I was flirty, more likable. But I got into a lot of trouble when I was drunk and, in reality, I was a mess the majority of the time. Thinking about it from my friend’s standpoint I was always the one they had to take care of, and now being the sober one, I realize that nobody wants to take care of a drunk person all the time.
This will probably be my last update for a while but I kind of just wanted to get my thoughts out, and really, that’s what this blog exists for anyway, isn’t it.
We will return to our normal programming soon, I promise.
Until then, take care of yourself