Valentine’s day is a tough one. On one hand, it’s a holiday made by capitalism to make money, and on the other hand, it somehow has the strength to make you feel like an absolute bag of smashed in assholes if you are alone.
Pardon my French.
Full disclosure: I am in a relationship and have been for the last 3 years, but before this I have never had a partner on valentine’s day (or ever for that matter). I put a lot of pressure on valentine’s day. I would spend it crying because I was alone and beating myself up over it, telling myself something was wrong with me because nobody wanted to be with me on this “Special Day”. Well I’m here to tell you that that is BULLSHIT.
I’m not hating on you or making fun of you if you feel this way, I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to feel that way.
YOU. ARE. VALID. Even if you are alone.
Valentine’s day is weird. It’s a day made to make you feel bad if you are alone, and a day to make you feel pressured to buy things for your loved one if you are in a relationship. I think Valentine’s day is like any other day, meaning: you don’t have to spend it doing anything other than what makes you feel right. If buying a gift for your partner feels right, do that, but if spending the evening with your best girlfriends and drinking wine and eating chocolates feels right, do that instead! I’m a firm believer of live and let live, but what I’m not a believer of, is feeling horrible because of “rules” put in place by society.
If you are alone and feeling some type of way this Valentine’s day, here are some ways to celebrate Valentine’s day on your own.
– Buy yourself those chocolates
Who says you need a significant other to buy chocolates for? Buy them anyway!
– Pour yourself some wine/champagne and take a bath
Play some of your favourite music or prop your computer on the toilet with some Netflix and just relax.
– Hang out with your friends!
Galentine’s day is a huge trend this year. Basically, Galentine’s day is when you spend Valentine’s day celebrating the love you have for your girlfriends! So, invite them over, make some tasty apps, and watch a sappy movie. If you are the entertaining type you can make a themed cocktail or decorate. Who says Valentine’s day can’t be about friendship?
– Romance yourself
Be your own valentine! Light some candles, have your favourite meal, and partake in some “me time” if you know what I mean.
– Ignore it
In reality, Valentine’s day is just another day. It’s February 14th, that’s it. Treat it that way! Wake up, do your normal routine, and pretend it doesn’t exist.
– Let yourself feel
I can sit here all day and yap about self care and ignoring Valentine’s day, but the truth is, sometimes it just makes you sad. If you are someone who longs for intimacy, but you don’t have it, Valentine’s day can be hard. Let it be hard. I don’t believe you should ever stifle your feelings. Feel them, cry, be upset, then pick yourself up, wash your face and move on. Yes, you should feel your feelings, but I don’t think you should dwell on them.
I remember being 17,18, and 19 feeling like I was broken because nobody loved me. I felt like I would never have anyone to love me and like Valentine’s day just existed to remind me of that. I hated Valentine’s day and now, as someone in a long-term relationship, it’s just like any other day. My boyfriend and I don’t really celebrate it. Sometimes he will bring me home some chocolates for us to share, but we don’t spend the evening swooning over each other because we do that every day. We love each other every day. And if you are alone it shouldn’t be a day that you hate yourself if you love yourself every other day. Love yourself today. Love yourself tomorrow. Love yourself every day.
Take care of yourself