If you’ve ever had a friend that constantly flakes and makes up excuses, so they can stay in bed and watch Netflix. If you’ve ever known someone who leaves you on read and you don’t know why. If you’ve ever had someone in your life that you just can’t make plans with, who’s mood swings make it impossible for you to spend time with, that’s basically me.
If you find it hard to be friends with this kind of person, try being in love with this kind of person. My boyfriend is strapped with the task of loving me, even on days that I don’t love me.
I’m hard to handle at times, my mood swings and my mind changes like it’s my job and he never knows if he will wake up to me laughing or crying.
He understands what it means when I’m in a cocoon in bed, or quiet before work, or pacing in the kitchen. He understands that he can’t fix what’s going on in my head, but tries to anyway, because he loves me.
This man is the strongest willed, most stubborn, but most supportive man who has ever stepped foot into my life and I couldn’t ask for more than the moments when he holds me while I cry because my anxiety has taken over, or when he rubs my back after a freak out session.
The truth is being in a relationship with someone with anxiety is hard. Even I can see it. There’s times when I get mad because of it, there’s times when he does. But if you can find a person that is strong willed, stubborn, and supportive it doesn’t have to be as hard.
Even on days when I feel like I am unlovable, when I feel like I’m more of a burden than a partner, on days when I feel like he’d be better off without me, he reassures me and makes me feel like I am worth not only his love, but my own.
I’m hard to handle, but he handles me pretty well.