This one goes out to the ones who want to do or be everything. The ones who won’t feel satisfied until everything on their long-term goal checklist is checked off. To the ones who feel like failures because they can’t do it all.
I want to be a wife, a mother, a stay at home mom-no, wait-
I want to be a sex therapist. I want to own a private practice. I want to be
financially stable. No,wait- I want to earn my income through blogging. Oh, but
I can’t, because all my time is taken by school. No, wait- I want to be a full-time
streamer on twitch. Oh, but I can’t, because I don’t have time.
I have to clean my house, find a way to take shifts at my real job, work blog posts in, decide if I want to start building a gaming PC to stream from, decide if I want to get a master’s in counselling or become a social worker. To do that, I need to do at least 5 hours of school a day, I need to remember to eat. I need to be emotionally stable for my partner who is so busy I only see him for an hour or two before bed. I must get 8 hours of sleep so I can wake up and do it all again. But more sleep means less time with him so I should stay up for a bit longer.
I can do it all, can’t I?
This is something I struggle with so badly. I want to do it all. I want to be it all. I want to, I want to, I want to. But I can’t.
When I get thinking about how I can’t possibly to everything or how I don’t have enough hours in the day, I start to spiral. I begin to think, not only can I not do everything, I can’t do anything. Everything screeches to a halt, and I find myself doing nothing. I’ve been practicing some things to help me get out of that rut when I feel both overwhelmed and not enough at the same times.
Remind yourself that you can’t possibly do it all, but that’s
Take a minute. Breathe deep and slow. Remind yourself that you’re okay. You’ll succeed. But you can’t succeed in everything at once. I don’t know why but when I feel like I can’t do it all, I immediately feel like a failure. Like I should be able to balance everything. I should be able to spin all of the plates. When I take a moment to actually tell myself, “You can’t do it all. Put your energy into one thing today”. It seems to help get me back on track.
Take a break to do something you enjoy
Sometimes I lose whole days to cleaning, cooking, studying, writing blog posts, or working. Hell, sometimes I do schoolwork at my actual job. My worlds collide more often than they should, and I notice that I haven’t really taken a breath in a minute. I haven’t done something purely leisurely. When this happens, and if it is possible, I drop everything and take a break to reset.
Spend time with friends
Trying to get everything done can take a lot of time. I just realized last night that I haven’t seen any of my friends in over two weeks. That’s not okay. This week, I’m going to be taking a break to spend some time with friends and get my mind off things.
No, really, actually think about it. I know we all want to think we can do it all. Hell, I want more than anything to somehow be a stay at home mom and own my own practice as a sex therapist. How is that going to work? I mean I could take a few years off but if it’s my own practice that isn’t really going to work. I want to somehow make an income from blogging, but I spend so much time on school that I don’t have time to pump out enough content to get any real traffic. I need to be realistic and understand that I just cannot physically do everything. Once you figure that out, you can decide where you want to put your energy. Maybe you can a lot of things in your life, but not all at once.
Live in the present
A lot of the time I will get so caught up with everything I
want to achieve in the future that I don’t feel like I’m living at all right
now. Trying to find enjoyment in the journey is a good way to feel less like
you’re living for the future and more like you’re living for the now.
Yes, I have to do a lot of schooling to achieve the success I want in the future, but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the courses I choose and the subject material that I’m learning. Take time to enjoy the things you have now because even if you are successful in the future, it’s going to suck knowing you were unhappy for most of your life to achieve the success.
And above all,
Take care of yourself